Well if you are anything like me you gained 5 pounds this weekend and you are walking around like a ticking time-bomb. Well, thanks to U.S. Patent 6313371 a product that is temporarily being called Flatulence Deodorizer you and I no longer need to worry.
The Flatulence Deodorizer, which is a "non-intrusive" pad you tape "inside briefs or panties in the anal area". It’s basically a little activated carbon patch that neutralizes odors. Although no product could be reviewed at this time (what a sahme) this product is surely going to be freaking ridiculous. If you wear this (besides being an idiot) just make sure the woman you brought home doesn’t see it when you’re stripping down, because if she does she’ll jump out the window and then tell all her friends basically jeopardizing your chance of ever seeing a woman naked again.
Instead of the FD just do what people have been doing throughout the years: blame the oldest, most senile person in your presence. If there is no old person, then blame the youngest person. If that fails, just look at the person next to you quizically thus blaming them for everyone to see.
DIKS, totally absurd.com